


Vicious Circle

by RavenTao



Series: Love Hurts [3]
Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Break Up, Getting Back Together, Hospitals, Kagami needs some love, M/M, happyish ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-20
Updated: 2014-10-20
Packaged: 2018-02-21 22:45:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2485001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RavenTao/pseuds/RavenTao
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The last part after "Never the Easy Thing" and "Until It's Gone" Kagami realizes that after all the time that he and Kuroko have put into trying to make it work, that he is still only second best. That he never could win against Aomine. So he gives in, because as much as he loves Kuroko, he knows he'll never be happy being chained to him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vicious Circle

**Author's Note:**

> Part three after Never The Easy Thing and Until It's Gone

_Say something, I'm giving up on you_

_I'll be the one, if you want me to_

_Anywhere, I would've followed you_

_Say something, I'm giving up on you_

 

Years had passed since Kuroko and Aomine's falling out.

He knew better than to bring the other man up in front of him too. He was still friends with Aomine and he knew that his being with Kuroko now was hard for him. But as he had said on multiple occasions; "I love Tetsu, but if he's happy with you, then I'm fine with you being his light."

It was things like that that got him the most. Because he knew that Kuroko wasn't happy. Kuroko hadn't been "happy" since he had broken up with Aomine all those years ago back in High school. He had thought that time would help. That he could help. But he knew that Kuroko's heart was still, forever and always Aomine's. It didn't matter how much Kagami loved him. He knew that Kuroko was trying. He could tell that the other man was trying as hard as he could to love him back. To forget about Aomine. So when he had been hit by that car on the way home from work, when Kagami had gotten the call from the hospital. He had been felt conflicted. Did Kuroko even want him to see him? What if he had gotten amnesia and he forgot all about them?

His fear, becoming a reality as he walked up to the receptionist.

"I'm here to see Kuroko Tetsuya. I was told that he was admitted here a bit ago?" He felt pretty good about how he had managed to stay so calm when inside he was a mess.

"Room 201 just down that corner." the nurse instructed him. Once he had reached the door and called out, he wished he hadn't.

"Kuroko?"

"Aomine kun … I'm sorry."

He had been asleep, but that had been all he'd needed.

 

_And I am feeling so small_

_It was over my head_

_I know nothing at all_

_And I will stumble and fall_

_I'm still learning to love_

_Just starting to crawl_

 

"How's he doing?" Aomine had asked three days later. Kuroko had been in critical condition and as a result, Kagami had been the only one who had permission from the doctors to see him.

"He's … getting better." What was he supposed to say? " _He keeps saying another man's name in his sleep." "He keeps saying your name! And I can't stand it because he's always been yours, even when he's mine!" "He want's you. Not me."_  None of those made it out of his mouth for fear that he might lose Kuroko completely. He knew he was being selfish, but he loved Kuroko … Even if Kuroko didn't love him back. Even if Kuroko was in love with Aomine. Was still in love with Aomine. Will always be in love with Aomine. How lucky that man was that he still held Kuroko's heart even after breaking it.

He remembered when Kuroko had knocked on his door that rainy Sunday evening, crying and soaked all the way through. He confessed to having been seeing Aomine. To having been in love with the man. And then finally, to having left him. Kagami had been shocked at first but then thought about it more and then felt ashamed for not having noticed it earlier.

It had taken him three years to work up the courage to ask Kuroko to perhaps date him.

"I know that you still are hung up on Aomine, but … maybe I could help you move on? I may not be as great as he is at Basketball. I may not have the same past with you as he does. … But I know you, and I like you and I want to try and make it work between us … if you'll let me." It had taken Kuroko an entire, agonizingly long week to give him a tentative yes.

And now … He didn't know how much longer he could take this. His two best friends, one of which he was in love with, were in love with each other, but both too afraid to try and make it work again for fear of being hurt again. The whole thing, if not so painful, would have been laughable. It was now, as he reminisced over the past, that he thought he knew how Kuroko had felt that day in the rain.

"That's good." Aomine paused. "Thanks for being there for him Kagami."

"... The doctor said he can have other visitors if he's stable tomorrow." He didn't know why he said it. He didn't want Aomine to go see Kuroko. He didn't want to lose Kuroko. Not to Aomine. "You should go see him."  _Mouth! Stop talking! Do you even know what you're saying anymore?!_  "He keeps calling for you in his sleep."  _Alright. I surrender. It's over. I've lost._

"What?" Aomine seemed genuinely surprised. As he should, Kagami had never made it a point to tell Aomine how much he knew Kuroko missed him. Sighing he fall back against the tree behind him.

"He wants you." He muttered as he slid down the tree to sit in the grass, his legs pulled up to his chest. "It's always been you. I can't even try to compare."

"He still … Even after all this time?" Kagami couldn't blame him for his disbelief. But he could for the smile that seemed to work it's way onto the darker skinned man's face. He wanted to scowl. He wanted to scream at Aomine that even if Kuroko still loved him, that the other man was still his. But that would be selfish. He knew that Kuroko was miserable trying to make himself love someone that wasn't Aomine.

"Before you go see him though … I want to end things."

"Why?"

"If you go see him I won't exist! All I've ever been to him is your replacement!" Kagami shouted. He didn't cry. He'd known this since the beginning. It was the entire reason they had gotten together. Kagami loved Kuroko when he had needed the warmth of another body. He had always loved Kuroko. Even when he had seen how pointless the endeavor was.

 

_And I will swallow my pride_

_You're the one that I love_

_And I'm saying goodbye_

 

"Kagami kun." Kuroko tried to smile to him as he walked into the room, immediately going to the chair beside his lover's bed. He was unusually quiet and sullen, even for a hospital visit. "Is there something wrong Kagami kun?" Kagami could tell the worry in his voice was genuine and it almost made him rethink his plan. But thinking back over the past week, how many times his name had passed those lips versus Aomine's while Kuroko had been asleep … he knew he was doing the right thing.

"I know you're unhappy with me Kuroko." were the first words out of his mouth and he felt just a fraction of a bit better, but ten times worse at the same time after they had passed his lips. Kuroko's brow had crinkled adorably in confusion.

"Why? Have you done something that I don't know of?"

"I know you're trying. And the entire reason we even started going together was to help you forget Aomine-

"Kagami kun, please don't-

"No. Hear me out." he took a deep breath. "It didn't work."

 

_Say something, I'm giving up on you_

 

"It didn't work and we were fools to think it ever would. It's always Aomine. It's always  _been_  Aomine, and it always  _will be_  Aomine who has your heart."

"What are you talking about Kagami kun? I-

"I know you're trying to love me, but I also know that you dream about him at night. You think about him when we make love, you called out his name the entire first month when we started going out. You stare at  _his_  picture on the bedside table when you're upset. Your favorite stuffed bear that sits on  _our_  bed was given to you by  _him_. Kuroko, Everyday since the accident that you've been admitted here you've called his name in your sleep."

 

_And I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you_

_And anywhere, I would have followed you_

_Oh-oh-oh-oh say something, I'm giving up on you_

 

Kuroko didn't say anything as Kagami spoke, he knew kagami wouldn't lie to him. "Not once have either the doctors or myself heard my name while you were asleep."

"What should we do then?"

"I'm going to move out. We are going to go our separate ways. And we'll just say we tried. You can go back to Aomine, and we can return to being just friends." He felt the drop of water on his hands before the sensation of crying even registered in his brain. Kuroko was silent for a good five minutes.

"Thank you." it was barely louder than a whisper. The second time he made sure Kagami had heard him. "I'm sorry Kagami kun, I tried."

"I know. It doesn't change the fact that I still love you, or that you still love him. I just want you to be happy." Kagami looked up from his hands and smiled a pathetic tear stained smile at the boy. "Just promise me you'll be happy with him again."

 

_Say something, I'm giving up on you_

 

Aomine walked in closely after Kagami's last words, and watched as he wordlessly walked out of the room before he got to Kuroko's bed to kiss him.

True to his word, when Kuroko was discharged the few weeks later, all of Kagami's things had been moved out of their shared apartment. Kuroko looked around and it suddenly dawned on him how empty the place was without all of Kagami's things cluttering up everything in sight. His basketball was no longer in the far corner by the television, there was no dirty or clean laundry scattered across the floor. The table wasn't covered in fast food burger wrappers and the couch didn't have a familiar mop of red ish-black hair hanging off the arm. Kagami had truly meant that he was going to move out.

There was a small pang in Kuroko's heart at the sight, but it washed away with Aomine's voice, as all his worries ever did when the other spoke.

"You could always move back in with me."

 

_Say something_


End file.
